Everything in dating is about user experience. If you want to do well, you need to be considering what kind of experience you’re providing for the people you interact with, especially when you’re trying to show your personality to make a good first impression.
Most women have had countless dates with guys that start out the same way. “Hey, how’s it going? Did you have an okay time getting here? Yeah. Did you find parking okay? Yeah. Oh cool, so what do you do? How do you like it?” It’s the same experience. There’s nothing exciting about that at all.
On the other hand, when you tease and playfully pick on someone, you’re giving the uncertain outcomes. We sometimes refer to this as an “emotional rollercoaster.” Does he actually like me? What’s going to happen next? This is fun!
People are addicted to uncertain outcomes. That’s why Las Vegas is what it is. It’s a well-established principle in psychology that we’re hard-wired to seek out novelty, and this is the deeper reason that contrast makes life exciting. This is also the reason why operating at the extremes is better than staying in the middle and being vanilla. Have a personality. Have strong opinions. Do unexpected actions. Provide a changing emotional experience. Mix it up.
Why do people love gambling and the stock market? They love uncertain outcomes.
Why are “nice guys” not attractive to women? They don’t provide uncertain outcomes.
Why do women go crazy for “bad boys”? You guessed it! They provide uncertain outcomes.
If a woman can size you up instantly, or if the conversation you provide is anything like that first date scenario previously discussed, sorry buddy, you’re boring. No one is attracted to boring. Dates should start out with a bang. Instead of boring, predictable conversation, do something unexpected.
For example, if a girl is 5 minutes early, you could say “Oh wow, you’re early. You’re kinda an eager beaver aren’t you…. Answer this question honestly, you probably started getting ready like three hours ago because you’re so excited about the date, huh? Don’t lie, no one likes a liar :)” It’s an outcome that no one expects to get at the beginning of a date, and that makes you exciting.
Deliver uncertain outcomes and people will be drawn to you. Just keep in mind that most of these outcomes should be favorable for the people experiencing them.
