Where are you making the biggest mistakes when you get into a conversation with a woman? I know what you’re thinking, “I don’t what to say” but that’s not it and it’s probably something you haven’t put much thought into before…
You need to speak in a tone that turns her on.
The boring science:
There are objective differences between masculine and feminine speech that are apparent in casual conversation. Scientists with too much time on their hands, have also studied these things. There are some aspects of engaging speech that are the same for both men and women, and are the same no matter who you are communicating with. It is always a valuable trait to actively listen, tell an engaging story, make insightful connections with what you’re discussing, and captivate a group with your speech.
Some people argue that these are natural biological differences, while others argue that they are a result of socialization in our society. This argument doesn’t matter for our purposes. What we need to focus on is communicating in a masculine style, which is more attractive to women. Women subconsciously judge guys with a masculine style of speech as being more confident.
Things to be aware of:
Beyond these factors, there are important differences in the way men and women communicate that you should be aware of. In general, men communicate to convey information, while women communicate to convey emotions. This is where the oversimplification “men are rational while women are emotional” comes from. A better way to look at it is that men are rational communicators while women are emotional communicators.
8 important differences:
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Women hedge their statements more frequently, using more tentative language such as “I think”, “pretty much”, “somewhat”, “I think”, and “you know”. Don’t do this. Dominant men communicate with confident rather than establishing doubt in what they’re saying. Just be sure you’re not making false claims which will make you sound like an idiot.
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Women give each other compliments as a way of connecting socially. When a woman says to another woman “I like your dress”, the communication goes much deeper than the dress. What the language ALSO conveys is that the women are of equal status, socially respect each other, and it is an invitation for further conversation. The surface level conversation about the dress has more important subtexts to it. The takeaway is to be careful with compliments because they can make you seem supplicative.
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Men end their sentences with a downward inflection, while women end their sentences with an upward inflection. Ending your sentences with an upward inflection makes you sound unsure of yourself and compromises your confidence.
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Men speak with a more monotone vocal inflection. There is a sweet spot here as being too monotone can makes you seem robotic, but too much rising and falling inflection makes you look feminine. Studies have shown that men who speak in more monotone voices are more attractive to women.
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Men swear more and use stronger swear words. This one is s self-explanatory, and explains why women who constantly swear are less attractive.
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Masculine speech is more direct. Women use more adverbs to modify their speech. Women use more flowery language to communicate, while men are direct and to the point. You should be communicating with strong images rather than rich language.
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Men speak slower than women. Don’t speak rapidly. Most people talk too fast, and this is making you seem more feminine.
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Women speak with more personal language and discuss their emotions more. Context is important on this one, as there are times when it is necessary to convey emotion, but keep in mind that doing so is part of a feminine communication style and can easily be overdone.
Pay attention to how you are speaking. Working on these important communication techniques will make you more attractive to women, and since most people are not aware of them, it’s an easy advantage for you.
