You’ve been in this situation before. You meet a girl out at a bar, and she has an accent. You: “Where are you from?” Her: “Germany.” You: “Oh cool. What part of Germany?” Stop doing this. Or what about this one: Her: “I’m from Chicago.” You: “I have a friend who lives in Chicago.” Ugh. Stop doing this too. One more: Her: "I'm a model." You: "What kind of modeling do you do?" Sigh. These are the responses that every loser says. You don’t really care what part of Germany she’s from, and you have no real value to add to the conversation once she provides her answer. It’s … [Read more...]
When You’re Objective, You Take More Risks
One of the most effective actions you can take to improve your life is developing your ability to think objectively. Most people think emotionally. Yes, this includes men, who often assume they are rational and impervious to the effects of emotions on their thinking. Men tend to have blind spots in this area just as much as women. People usually look at their situation, whatever it may be, come up with one possible outcome, and only focus on that outcome happening. Emotions drive the estimate of the outcome occurring. This human tendency is the reason why the mainstream news media … [Read more...]
Dating With Social Anxiety
I've said before that I don't care about approach anxiety. But when does anxiety become a real problem? When social anxiety becomes a problem, it’s because it turns into more than just a feeling of anxiety in social situations (like approach anxiety). If that's all it was, then you could just tough out the uncomfortable feeling and force yourself be social, like what most people do when they have to speak in public. The reason that social anxiety is a bigger problem is because it changes your actions and behaviors: you can get CBD oil for sale in order to avoid feeling anxious. What is is … [Read more...]
Only Losers Need Plans
Through the years of developing the Inner Confidence curriculum, we've compiled a subconscious list of things that winners do and losers do. There are 10,000 subtle behaviors that add up to someone's overall success or failure: word choice, behavior, social ecosystem, etc. We hear the words "winners" and "losers" and don't pay much attention to them because they sound like generic, silly words. I really like them and think they don't get enough credit. Most decisions we make, even things we do that we don't realize are decisions, lead towards a win or a loss. Losers frequently make … [Read more...]
Why do I get nervous when I text girls?
This question was asked by a member of the Leverage Program Question: Why do I get nervous when I text girls? There are two ways to deal with being nervous when you text girls. Keep in mind that your ultimate goal isn't to stop being nervous, it is to text the right things to advance the relationship. 1. Using mental strategies to talk yourself out being nervous. While it's natural to get nervous when you text due to overthinking it, a lot of your progress will just come with experience. The more reps you put in, the more familiar you get used to texting girls, so it stops being a big … [Read more...]
Snappy One Liners
1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks? 8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 9) I'm already visualizing the masking tape over your mouth. 10) … [Read more...]
Inner Confidence on Elite Daily – 3 Ways To Get Instantly Better At Meeting Women In Public
In the beginning, we all suck at meeting women in public. You will likely not be an exception. Approaching women with no introduction can feel really overwhelming and intimidating to a lot of dudes. But when you get good at it, your dating and sex life will improve big time. Why? Because being unafraid in the face of rejection is really f*cking hot, and girls dig it. You’re Going To Hate This, But Do It Anyway... (read more) … [Read more...]
“Bring It” Podcast Interview w/ Robbie Kramer
A lot of my content is centered around dating and relationships but this episode is very geared towards career advice, setting up a remote working situation to avoid the 9 to 5 and get out of the rat race, and some other cool points on choosing business partners. I was interview by a very inspiring young dude named YL Savitskiy on his podcast, Bring It. Topics Include: On building a remote lifestyle [2:10] How to developing personality traits [7:58] On balancing fun and doing business [14:22] On overcoming rejection [18:11] On the basics of networking [23:13] Robbie’s … [Read more...]
Inner Confidence on Elite Daily: How To Avoid Hard Feelings & Make A Seamless Exit After A One Night Stand
Tell me if you can relate: You and your buddies go to your favorite bar. You see a cute woman and say hello. The two of you hit it off, start making out and end up back at your place for a night of fun. The next morning, you wake up with her arm slung across your chest, and you think, last night was awesome, but I got sh*t to do. How can I get out of this without looking like a total douche? This situation used to completely throw me off. (And believe me, if you think she’s not at least a little bit concerned about how to handle the situation, you’re wrong!) Read the rest of the … [Read more...]
Success Is Closer Than You Think
Ever hear the saying don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good? Nowhere is this more true than when you’re learning how to be better with women. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be good enough. A lot of the advice out there is aiming at perfection. And this is counterproductive for improving your skills and improving your life. Because here’s the thing: guys today have set the bar very low. Ask any woman about her frustrations with dating, and she’ll tell you that most guys are terrible: They don’t have the empathy to be able to picture what a woman actually wants … [Read more...]
Hot Chicks are Good for Business
Men love being in the company of beautiful women. It just makes everything that much more fun and interesting. You will never hear a guy say, “Dude, I’m out, I just don’t want to hang out with more cute girls.” Having hot chicks around brings me more hot chicks, more important guys, better girlfriends and better business opportunities. The more friends – hot, cool friends – I keep in my company, the higher I stand socially, and the more I enjoy my life. Whatever line of business you’re currently in, making friends with cute chicks and hanging out with them regularly will always … [Read more...]
Does Your Shirt Fit?
What size shirt are you wearing right now? I’d be willing to bet that it’s too big and doesn’t flatter you at all. How do I know that? Because 95% of all guys wear dorky clothes that make them look like they don’t have a clue how to take care of themselves (let alone lead an interaction with a woman). They haven't grasped that men's fashion styles have evolved through the ages. Dressing well is extremely important to women. A cute girl will look you up and down and decide in two seconds whether you’re worth her time and energy simply based on your choice of apparel (a crew neck in the … [Read more...]
How to Use the Friend Zone to Your Advantage
Guys complain to me all the time that they’ve been confined to the friend zone. They think they should be able to bang every girl they meet, and when they get pushed to the friend zone, they whine about it instead of strategically using it to their advantage. Dudes: STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT THE FRIEND ZONE. Here’s the thing, cute chicks hang around cute chicks. If some girl won’t sleep with you but she invites you out with her girls and you become friends, use that to your advantage. You roll into some bar with six cute girl friends and you’re golden. Not only does this seriously raise … [Read more...]
A Better Way To Connect With Women
Creating strong emotional connections, especially in a short amount of time, is a difficult skill to master. Anyone who is missing the signals that girls send and not connecting is thinking way too much about what's going on in their own head: insecurities, thoughts, what to say next, etc. They're focusing on the craziness in of their mind instead of the person in front of their face. They're directing their attention to the wrong place. Before getting into how to create a deep connection, it's important to understand what "vibing" is. Guys who are good with women know how to vibe. They … [Read more...]
Are You Overlooking This Crucial Dating Principle?
Being attractive to women requires the willingness to tolerate ambiguity. Because you can never control every factor in a situation and you can’t read anyone’s mind, social situations in general are ambiguous. Nowhere is this more true than with dating. At a bar, a girl could make eye contact with you because she’s interested, or because something in your direction caught her eye. She could be laughing because she genuinely thinks you’re funny, or because she feels bad for you. She could have ignored your attempt to set up a date because she is busy with work, or because she wants you to … [Read more...]
How to Get Over the Pain of Rejection
Every man in the world has experienced being rejected by a woman (or if he hasn’t, he’s too scared to talk to a woman in the first place). I’ve felt it. My buddies have felt it. I know you’ve felt it otherwise you wouldn’t be reading this article. There’s no doubt about it, getting a “no” totally sucks. It hurts. You might start thinking, “God, I suck. I’m horrible with women...” and that makes things even worse. Fortunately, there’s a solution and you don’t have to live with the pain of rejection forever. Making the Transition All my clients come to me because they’re sick of being … [Read more...]
The Keys To Fixing Your Body Language
Body language is one of the most important ways you communicate. Women and successful men perceive what your body language shows about you in less than a second. Since it's processed on the subconscious level, your body language will make or break the interaction before you ever open your mouth. Unfortunately, guys who didn’t grow up with a masculine, athletic, macho, infrastructure in their lives never absorbed the confident body language that turns women on, so they're at a disadvantage on the dating market. Being aware of your own unconfident body language is a crucial step, but it’s … [Read more...]
The Quickest Way To Move Past Social Fear
When you're feeling fear or anxiety, the most important action to take isn't one that reduces anxiety. It's the action that reduces your avoidance, and makes you face whatever it is you're anxious about. The next time you’re in a situation where you’re feeling a negative emotion, especially fear, takes these three steps. Over time, they will train the subconscious part of your brain to do it automatically, and they take less than a minute. 1. Think of the best possible outcome This helps you determine what actions you need to take to reach that outcome. It helps you see what part of … [Read more...]
Want to Hook Up with Her? Give it 7 Hours and You’re Usually Golden
One of my clients met a girl a while back who he really liked. She liked him too, and they texted back and forth for a while before setting up a date (side note: if you’re spending days texting girls and not meeting up with them, you suck at text game and you need THIS). He picks her up at 5:00 pm, and they spend the next few hours bouncing from location to location, getting to know each other, and making out. This girl didn’t have a job, she was fresh out of college and living with her parents. At 11:00 pm, six hours later, he took her home. And left her there. BAD MOVE. The Magical 7 … [Read more...]
Building Your Ecosystem: Who’s Got Your Back?
One of the most important factors in improving your lifestyle, creating a better dating life, and having a masculine lifestyle, is who you choose to surround yourself with. Who you allow to influence your thinking dictates how you experience the world. You absorb the mental models and worldviews of the people in your ecosystems, and those beliefs can make or break you. The result: if there’s something you want to achieve, you need to be around people who are already doing it. If you want to get into the banking game or the hedge fund game, you don’t need to hang out with artists, you … [Read more...]
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