Text game isn’t really an effective strategy to get girls attracted to you. It’s designed for one thing: to get her face to face with you again. After you met when you got her number either in person or online,she feels some way towards you on. Let’s put it on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being she has no interest and it was a pity number, and 10 being she wants to have your babies. If she’s not flirty back, doesn’t ask any questions, or doesn’t drive the conversation, then you have to guess she is somewhere between a 3-6. A 1 or 2 wouldn’t respond, would reject you, or be extremely curt. A … [Read more...]
What does it take to be a man?
There's a lot out there in self-help media for men and popular culture about what it takes to be a man. I have a simple definition for this that I recently heard from an interview with Tucker Max, and I agree 100%. Reach between your legs. What do you feel? If you have a dick, you're a man. It's that simple. If anyone gives you a definition that's more complicated, see if you can identify what their hidden agenda might be. It's most commonly an attempt to do one of two things: 1. Justify their own insecurities Self-acceptance is a rare trait because it takes consistent hard work … [Read more...]
Dealing with discomfort
What I'm about to say is sad, but not very controversial: most people would experience mild discontent with their situation than face the discomfort that’s necessary for improving their lives. People just don't want to tolerate discomfort, even if they have a guarantee it’s temporary. Getting into shape is a prime example. Unhealthy people tend to know that getting into shape requires eating healthy, and physical exercise. The failure to act isn’t caused by a lack of information. It stems from an unwillingness to feel uncomfortable. Eating healthy is uncomfortable. Working out causes … [Read more...]
Oneitis and the 3-Step Cure
Let's talk about oneitis. This should feel familiar to every guy: you fixate on one specific girl, put her on a pedestal, and imagine the mental or logistical hurdles you need to overcome to get her. Often it occurs with a girl who isn't fully sold on you yet, or maybe even has rejected you already. It leads to added pressure and makes it almost impossible to succeed. In his book The Erotic Mind, Jack Morin details the "erotic equation": attraction plus obstacles leads to excitement. Guess what happens when you create this kind of excitement with a woman you aren't in a committed … [Read more...]
Why Night Club Promoters Typically Have Amazing Game…
What happens to a club promoter’s social life when he leaves that world behind for a regular job? Today we’re checking in with Ben, a Leverage moderator and master networker who has likability down to a science. You may remember Ben from the Leverage Podcast, where he discussed how he got started as a promoter and his approach to meeting women. If you haven’t listened to that episode, check it out. Ben has left the club promoting world but still manages to maintain an amazing social life. He’s back to share with you his insights from his transition. When Ben was a full-time club … [Read more...]
An easy way to step up your style
In Ukraine you must be serious. It's a serious country and colors are not serious. Recently, I've been using a new method to drastically simplify my wardrobe, and getting more compliments than ever. It's the easiest system I've found so far to make fashion (or more accurately, style) easy. But first, why is the way you dress even important? Why should you even care? A lot of men have the misconception that the clothing they wear only matters to “shallow” women, and the women they want to date aren’t “superficial.” They're mistaken for a variety of reasons. If you don’t know how to … [Read more...]
Which is more important: looks or confidence?
I'm 5'8 and almost obese. I've never received attention from women the past year despite becoming more social. 3 years ago, when I was almost 40 pounds slimmer, I took a summer class and I noticed the prettiest girl in class hitting on me. However I was too aloof to notice that she was interested. Why do people keep saying that attracting women relies on confidence when my experience proves otherwise? When people say that being attractive to women relies on confidence, they’re correct. But being attractive isn’t solely about confidence. A healthy sense of confidence isn’t enough to overcome … [Read more...]
What you should know about starting a business
Having multiple streams of income is an important part of living the Leverage Lifestyle, but too many people looking to start a business ask the wrong questions. They try to come up with some crazy niche market that nobody's serving yet because they believe that's what it's going to take to be successful. Or they try to enter a market they know nothing about, instead of figuring out what they already enjoy that people are willing to pay for. Instead, work backwards. Let's start with what do you already know. Ask yourself the following questions: What are you already good at … [Read more...]
How to up your conversation game in less than an hour
Lately it seems like there are two categories of questions I get asked more than anything else: conversation skills and texting. And you could argue that texting questions fall under conversation skills- texting feels like a different language, but all the principles of conversation skills apply to texting. Guys often tell me that their mind goes blank in the middle of a conversation. How do you stop running out of things to say? We all want to know how to make someone feel truly heard and listened to. What if you could provide someone with that rare experience they’re likely to remember … [Read more...]
How to put yourself in a position of strength
It's too easy to trap yourself into a position of weakness. If you're struggling to go attract and connect with the caliber of women that you really want, there's a good chance that you're talking yourself out of a position of strength. When you're craving attention or affection, you're in a position of weakness. When you're needy, you're in a position of weakness. When you're trying to convince someone that they should like you, you're definitely in a position of weakness. When you're trying to impress someone, well, you know where I'm going with this. So what should I do … [Read more...]
What my dog taught me about meeting women
This is Wiley, my German Shepard/Collie mix: Last week I brought Wiley with me to Las Vegas. We took a walk down The Strip and countless girls stopped me to pet and adore him. I need to get him cbd for dogs and a t-shirt that says, “I’m Wiley, 8 years old, Shepard/Collie.” I’ve probably answered those damn questions 5,000 times. When it’s a cute girl, I don’t mind as much though. Having a dog is one of the best hacks to meet women. But you already know that... A client in the Leverage Program asked me a question about how to know which "rules" to follow and which to ignore, and … [Read more...]
WTF does confidence even mean? I know I need it, but how do I get it?
If you don't feel confident in your dating life, it says nothing about your character. It's just an indication that you need more practice so you can stack more wins. There's a lot of nonsense out there on what confidence is, or what it takes to develop confidence. Confidence is the thoughts and feelings that result from a series of wins stacked together. It's your expectation of how you'll perform in a given situation, and it's different from self-esteem, which is your overall evaluation of yourself. I was reviewing Mate by Tucker Max yesterday and found a brilliant definition … [Read more...]
The Minimum Effective Dose for day game
Most guys know what it’s like to struggle with conversation skills during a day game approach. How many of these feel familiar? The "I have a boyfriend" response Only getting brief responses Not knowing where to take the conversation ("I run out of things to say") Having boring conversations If you can relate to any of these, it doesn't automatically mean you're doing anything wrong. It comes down to a different problem: having a day game conversation is really fucking difficult. I've had a LOT of day game conversations and I'm really fucking comfortable having them, but they … [Read more...]
The Words Don’t Matter
When you're walking up to a girl and meeting her, your first impression is crucial, but there's one step here that I see a lot of guys mess up. They're so nervous that they forget to use the same social skills they use in all their other interactions. When you're nervous, your intelligence drops. Your fight or flight system gets triggered. You get overly literal and hang onto every word she says. Contrast that to a conversation you have with a close friend or a family member. In these interactions, you're able to read the emotions beneath their words. If you came home and said to your … [Read more...]
You Should Watch Dating Shows
You guys should be watching TONS of dating shows. I've watched almost every episode of Blind Date, Millionaire Matchmaker, Elimidate, Singled Out, etc...reality TV's finest programming. I'm sure I picked up a million how to's, do's and dont's, and pop culture references. If you're not consistently meeting women this is a must do. And guess what, these shows are immensely entertaining so this exercise is easy. While nerds were playing Starcraft, I was watching reality dating shows on my 85 inch tv. Watching dates is one of the best ways to study human psychology. It is politically … [Read more...]
Where You Should Be Meeting Women
It's Friday night and you've got your dancing shoes on, except you don't actually care about dancing tonight- you're single and you are going out to meet women. You and a buddy are trying to decide where to go. "There's a new club that just opened, kinda a hipster scene, but the chicks are hot, bro!" "I'm not into hipster chicks, but whatever...If they're hot, let's go check it out!" you respond. Sound familiar? Places like that are a waste of the limited free time you have! Busy guys quickly forget how much the environment of places we go out to affects our ability to meet … [Read more...]
Embarass Yourself to Overcome Social Anxiety
One of my favorite Inner Confidence exercises is our social freedom exercises. We do things like lie down in a crowded public area, pretend to text on our phones in a crosswalk until the light turns green and we get honked at, and go to Chipotle and ask for free guacamole. Pictured left is Leverage Program moderator, doing a social freedom exercise during this year's EuroTrip in Budapest. The point of these exercises is to embarrass yourself in public and learn to deal with whatever reaction you get. There's actual psychology behind it: the original cognitive-behavioral therapist Albert Ellis … [Read more...]
How to Set Goals: The Pillars of Life
Guest post by James, Leverage Program moderator Sitting in the airport in Buenos Aires, after a weekend of food poisoning and partying, I was feeling pretty miserable waiting for my flight that Sunday evening. I was writing and avoiding my travel friends, just going through my normal weekly routine and trying to prepare for the week to come. Phillip, a guy I met that weekend came over and asked me what I was writing about. I really looked up to Phillip but I hadn’t been able to create the relationship I wanted with him. He was a deep thinker, entrepreneur, in great shape, and charming. I … [Read more...]
The 3 F’s: How to Become An Expert At Anything
I love when someone tells me that something is "simple, but not easy." Many of the best things in life fit this saying. Fitness. Nutrition. Confidence. Meeting women. Day game. These areas have simple rules for success, and then they require hard work applying those rules. Expert performance is the same way. It's simple, but not easy. How simple? The path to becoming an expert can be broken down into three steps that anyone can understand and apply immediately. 1. Focus This doesn't mean a general sense of focus. This is referring to taking a microscope on the skills that comprise … [Read more...]
No Longer Living With Regrets
Guest post by James, Leverage Program moderator One of the biggest regrets of my life starts with my best friend Dan. He was spending his summer in Australia, staying on a vineyard of a mutual friend of ours and spend time traveling. He kept suggesting I join him and I kept saying no. All in all, he said the trip would cost around $5,000. I was using that as an excuse. Even though I had the money, I told myself the trip would cost too much. I have other things to do on my summer vacation. I had already been to Australia which has Incredible Mountain Retreats To Enjoy This Winter. … [Read more...]
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