Intro: If you like our discussion of connection triggers with Marcus Oakey, you'll love this episode! We get deeper into the connection discussion, and we even give away some tactics you can use immediately to have better connections, as well as the surprising mindsets behind them. Words shape our entire life. The words that we use affect our consciousness and our belief systems. They are the vehicle we translate our reality to other people’s realities. Acknowledge when people are talking to you. It helps add connections to interactions because it shows you’re paying attention. Show … [Read more...]
3 Reasons Why You Don’t Do Day Game (even though you know you should) and what you can do about it.
If you’ve been following Inner Confidence, you know that day game is the easiest way to meet high quality women without the hassle of online dating, Tinder, and spending mad cash at bars and clubs. But here’s the thing: If you know about day game, and you still aren’t approaching regularly, odds are that you’re not going to start without making some changes. Here’s why you probably don’t approach: 1. You haven’t reprogrammed the irrational parts of your brain. If you approach 10 girls, 9 reject you, and 1 becomes your girlfriend, you’ll forget about the rejections and whole thing … [Read more...]
52: Marcus Oakey – Connection Triggers (Part 2)
We’ve all experienced those times where we’ve just hit it off with a stranger and usually when that happens its because we instantly connect over a common theme. For example, discovering that you both: Have a mutual friend in common Grew up together in the same town (and never met) Support the same sports team or even speak the same second language Marcus calls these happenstances “Connection Triggers”. They serve to make the other person more immediately receptive to you. More often than not, stumbling on one of these Connection Triggers are down to luck. I mean, how … [Read more...]
Why Your Life Depends On Being Assertive
Like most guys on this journey of self-improvement, one of the hardest things I ever struggled with was overcoming social anxiety. Often I knew how I'd like my life to be different, and I recognized how I'd behave in a world where I had unlimited confidence. Some part of me knew what to do, but anxiety stopped me from doing it. Getting past that anxiety and starting to develop true inner confidence and self-acceptance was tough. And not just tough as in the way our society views hard work, but tough in the way that only comes from challenging who you view yourself as a person. Tough doesn't … [Read more...]
51: Marcus Oakey – Connection Triggers (Part 1)
We’ve all experienced those times where we’ve just hit it off with a stranger and usually when that happens its because we instantly connect over a common theme. For example, discovering that you both: Have a mutual friend in common Grew up together in the same town (and never met) Support the same sports team or even speak the same second language Marcus calls these happenstances “Connection Triggers”. They serve to make the other person more immediately receptive to you. More often than not, stumbling on one of these Connection Triggers are down to luck. I mean, how … [Read more...]
Healthy Eating 101…When You’re A Lazy Fuck
Guest post by Jay, Leverage Program member and resident lazy fuck Let’s be real: you want to have a great body that makes women go crazy, but grocery shopping, healthy eating (which this website here can tell you how to do), and constant cooking sounds like a bitch. It's actual work, and just thinking about it makes me tired. Actually, I’m gonna take a nap right now instead of finishing this article. I’m so fucking sleepy. Wake me up at 3pm. Goodnight. But really, it’s very simple. There are two types of lazy people. 1. Smart lazy people who build a good system and sit on auto pilot … [Read more...]
50: Conversation Skills Revisited
Intro: It’s important to start talking to people and daygame before you go out to get warmed up. Start approaching early in the night as well. It’s so important to hit your stride in the prime part of the night. You need to get consistent attraction before you can work on Push-Pull, since it only works when you have that going for you. Show Notes: Why conversation skills are your greatest asset when you're improving your social life, and even your life overall Warming up, and why most guys don't do it even though they should The interplay between approaching and conversation … [Read more...]
49: Brazil Follies and Escalation
Intro: Girls in Brazil are very direct. You know whether they’re interested in you or not very quickly. They don’t play games like American girls. It’s hard to learn Push-Pull through writing. It’s easier to teach on a trip to Brazil or Europe where Robbie can directly work with you for 10 days straight and point out these different things. Don’t try to ‘round-the-bases’ with girls when you’re trying to fuck them in your bed. Do things like giving them a shirt to wear to make things easier for yourself. Instead of having to undress her she will already be basically naked, so it will be hard … [Read more...]
Why Going to Brazil Made Me Rethink My Life
Guest post by Cory, Leverage Program member I went to Brazil on the Inner Confidence Leverage trip and it changed my life. First, because this is Inner Confidence, I'll talk about the woman of Brazil and my experiences with them. Simply put, I fell in love three times this trip. I met more cooler girls in two weeks in Brazil than during the last year and a half in the states. There are three girls that I am actually upset that I am leaving, and cannot continue the connection that we were able to create. One actually spent most of the day trying to get me to change my flight and stay. All of … [Read more...]
48: Accelerating Your Conversation Game
Show Notes: Why you need to understand the difference between Western and non-Western cultures The psychological factors that keep people engaged in conversations The shortcut to being a good conversationalist How to structure your conversations in a way that demonstrates your social intelligence and value The fundamental conversational tools every guy needs to know … [Read more...]
47: Long-Term Relationships (Part 2)
Intro: As long as you only see girls once every 7-10 days, you will be able to avoid the relationship conversation for a long time. you will not have the argument of why you should be in a relationship together because you’re not hanging out regularly enough. Show notes: The difference between forced monogamy, being actively single, and commitment How to avoid coming across as desperate The best way to tell women you're dating what type of relationship you're seeking Why you need to be actively single before doing anything else How to know if you're making a commitment … [Read more...]
Why You Aren’t Making Enough Mistakes
We all know the cliches about how you fail your way to success, or how you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. It’s common knowledge in our culture that the way you get better at something is by making mistakes. But is it really? A lot of guys don’t realize that they’re looking for dating coach because they’re looking for permission to make mistakes. They might “know” that they need to make mistakes to get better, but they don’t actually believe it. They get a coach because they want someone else to tell them it's ok to mess up. One area where this shows itself is when guys are too … [Read more...]
Why The Stories You’re Telling Yourself Don’t Help
One of the most popular features of the Leverage Program is that guys post writeups of social experiences and interactions they have, and they get feedback from other members and experts in the group. The best way to get systematic step-by-step advice based on what we know works is to be objective. Both when you're looking at your own life and your own interactions, you need to get specific about behaviors. Here's an excerpt from a writeup of a Leverage Program member recalling an interaction while out at a bar: "She then gets mad at me over something stupid (I went out to check on her … [Read more...]
46: Long-Term Relationships (Part 1)
Intro: Forced monogamy will halt your progress and keep you stuck in a bad place. You’ll inevitably break up. Every guy needs to spend a period of time being actively single. It gives you an abundance mentality when you’re hooking up with multiple girls. Date girls that are into the same things as you (threesomes, swinging, lifestyle, etc). Show notes: The difference between forced monogamy, being actively single, and commitment How to avoid coming across as desperate The best way to tell women you're dating what type of relationship you're seeking Why you need to be … [Read more...]
I Don’t Ever Lie
Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. has conducted research that shows how typical humans lie in one out of every five daily interactions. The type of lies we tell isn't really important. What is important is to consider the ways we can’t help but cushion the truth. It’s common for guys to only tell parts of the truth, and leave out the less desirable details because they're afraid of difficult conversations. So why do we do it? Lies occur for many reasons. Lying by omission, for instance, is often done to spare someone's feelings from being hurt. Exaggeration and self-protection lies would be done in … [Read more...]
Why Most Women Think You’re Boring
Guys, you’ve been in this situation before. You meet a girl out at a bar, and she has an adorable accent. You: “Where are you from?” Her: “Norway.” You: “Oh cool. What part of Norway?” Stop doing this. Or what about this one: Her: “I’m from Chicago.” You: “I have a friend who lives in Chicago.” Ugh. Stop doing this too. One more: Her: "I'm a model." You: "What kind of modeling do you do?" Sigh. These are the typical responses that every loser says. You don’t really care what part of Norway she’s from, and you have no real value to add to the conversation once she provides her answer. She … [Read more...]
45: Steve Mayeda – Stripper Game (Part 2)
Intro: Hang out in the type of strip clubs where you like the vibe and the girls. You need to go to different ones and see which scene you like. They all have different cultures. Don’t tell strippers they’re hot. Pry deeper and tap into the other aspects of their personality. Show Notes: What kind of strip clubs to go to Steve's hack for how to talk to beautiful women Why playing the value game makes you lose The one thing you can display that works with every woman How to have a conversation with a stripper and form a connection … [Read more...]
Little Decisions: What Most People Get Wrong
Being good at making little decisions is more important than being good at making big decisions. Being objective about your decisions is a key contributor to success. In my experience, educated and successful people say the word “objective” three times a day or more. Broke dick hippy fucktard bums say "open minded" 20 times a day. And being objective means recognizing what kinds of decisions you’re making. Some people are good at making big decisions, and some people are good at making little decisions. If you’re good at both, your life is easy. If you’re bad at both, your life is … [Read more...]
44: Steve Mayeda – Stripper Game (Part 1)
Intro: Gaming waitresses, bottle girls, strippers, etc. is all pretty much the same. If you’re not living a partying type life where you’re up until 6am every night, working on getting these girls full time won’t be that fun. You need to be comfortable in a strip club, first of all. Be cool and act like you belong there. Strippers are going to do whatever they need to do (touching you, sitting on your lap, telling you you’re hot) to get you to spend money. Don’t let them make you make bad decisions with your money. Ask them a question about themselves and connect with them. Try to hang out … [Read more...]
What’s Better Than Motivation?
I've found from working with hundreds of clients that motivation is NOT what drives behavior change. Trying to change too many habits at once more often than not leads to failure, discouragement, and not trying again. Habits are more important than discipline or willpower. Our society teaches us to view life improvement in a way that is very black and white. We love all or nothing thinking: either I’m going to stick perfectly to my new diet, or it’s not worth trying. People see anything short of radical life change in every domain as a failure, when in reality, we improve our lives by … [Read more...]
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