Intro: Having to struggle and not having an easy start in the dating game ends up paying itself back in the long run because you have to develop way better game. You need to have an actual true friendship with a girl to make her your wingwoman. Hang out with her, grab some coffee, and see how she is doing. The hottest girls don’t really go to normal bars and do the same things like regular people, so it’s difficult to get to them. Once you get in front of them you need to be unapologetic about who you are. You have to be more dynamic and fun. The higher quality the girl, the more game you … [Read more...]
Develop Your Inner Confidence Interview on Pickup Change
I was recently interviewed by pickupchange.com We talked about how to build your confidence and make your approach to girls more natural and effective. Here’s what we covered in the podcast: The easiest way to meet girls How to develop your inner confidence How to overcome approach anxiety What is the average success ratio in daygame How to enjoy the process and stop being focused only on the outcome Do looks and wealth really matter? How to spot a girl who is actively looking for … [Read more...]
Do you agree too much?
A common mistake that guys who don't have well-developed social skills make is that they are too agreeable. They don't want to tell girls no. They don't want to make polarizing statements. They'd rather go with the flow than rock the boat. They avoid controversy. At first glance, this seems like it's a good idea. If you aren't a social genius or a beast with women, why take a risk that has a chance of hurting a relationship or creating tension? Here's the problem: when you're in the middle, you're vanilla. You need to be polarizing to be attractive to people. You need to filter some … [Read more...]
Why is approaching so important for building confidence?
You've heard me say it over and over, but if you expect to get results and you're not crushing approaches or already dating multiple women, it's just not gonna happen. If you wanna get good at basketball you've gotta take a ton of shots right? You can't expect to show up at the court, stand around with the ball and expect to improve can you? Well, that's what many of you guys are doing, and then whining that you suck and the program isn't working. That line of thinking is actually offensive to guys who have put in the work. Robbie crushed 10k approaches by the time he was in his late … [Read more...]
62: Taking Action
Intro: You need to have the growth mindset when you’re going through the process of approaching and learning all these other skills with women. Enjoy the process. Being able to approach girls anytime you want and knowing you can pick up girls in any city is the ultimate. It’s total freedom. If you’re comfortable, you’re dying, you’re dead. If you’re uncomfortable you’re alive, you’re living your truth. Show notes: What Robbie did when he started taking action to learn attraction skills How Robbie conquered his approach anxiety The difference between a fixed mindset and a … [Read more...]
Reader question: How do I escape the friend zone?
A reader asks: I'm planning out a date with an old casual friend from my hometown, where I've been staying for a few months. I recently got out of a 5 year relationship and looking forward to dating again. Background: I've somewhat had a crush on her. I always had an older brother-sister frame with her. I want to use this harmless coffee to take a step beyond the friendship dynamic. I know I need to do this very smoothly so there is no weirdness and end up creeping her out. What's the best way to do this? You are going about this with the wrong frame of mind. She knows you are both out of … [Read more...]
How do I connect with girls on their level?
A common challenge for guys during the process of developing their conversation skills is that they struggle to connect with girls intellectually. But most of the time, this isn't a challenge they realize they're facing, because it expresses itself in other ways. The most common way it shows up is when guys ask "How do I turn my brain off and talk to girls on their level?" or "How do I connect with girls at parties?" This is something I've always had a natural inclination for. I didn't even realize it was a useful skill until I heard a bunch of other guys lamenting about the challenges of … [Read more...]
Can Hypnosis Get You Laid?
Here’s my interview with hypnotherapist and Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Practitioner Jonny Dupre on how to form emotional connections with women. PART 1 PART 2 The idea that hypnosis and NLP could be used to attract women first occurred to me when I read The Game in college. One of the more memorable scenes in the book is when Ross Jeffries runs an NLP routine on an unsuspecting waitress. Soon enough, the waitress falls into a trance and admits to Ross that she's attracted to him even though he’s not her type. When I first read the book, I assumed that the … [Read more...]
61: Building Your Social Circle
Intro: Robbie used to crush burritos with his bros in San Diego when he was a little on the heavy side. Spend time with people who have the same goals as you. Don’t waste your prime time with people who don’t have these goals. The key to building a social circle is meeting a connector. If you make friends with one of these guys, they connect you to a bunch of other cool people. Meeting these types of guys is extremely effective. People who are successful in life typically have a variety of social circles. Figure out which social circle you’re trying to get into, what type of value they are … [Read more...]
Why are you turning women off?
A recent study done at the University of Florida looked into the biggest turnoffs in potential romantic partners. The researchers found that deal breakers had a bigger effect on the formation of a romantic or sexual relationship than deal makers. In other words, the most important thing for attraction isn't to be really attractive, it's to not be unattractive. This is why in the Leverage Program we focus on the fundamentals first. Do you know how to dress? Are you in shape? Do you have poor vocal tonality? Fixing this type of problem will get you more gains than working on being … [Read more...]
60: Megan – Female Dating Expert Part 2
Intro: There is no such thing as rejection. It’s just feedback. In night game, the opening line can basically be anything. When the interaction starts and you start creating the conversation and engaging, that’s when the things you say actually matter. This can happen face to face, or through dating apps like vivmag. The goal of a date isn’t for things to go well, it’s to see if you’re interested in the person. Guys put too much effort into making a date good instead of learning more about the girl. Show Notes: What drew Megan to helping guys improve their dating lives The … [Read more...]
A Master Networker’s Guide to Building Elite Connections
Guest post by Max, Leverage Program moderator In the Leverage Program, we often advise members to invest in human capital, and here's why: the key to building a social network is to invest in other people. Volunteer your time and say yes to just about everything until you absolutely have no choice but to start being more selective, because you'd be surprised how connected people are. For example, the head of the Boys & Girls Clubs of Boston is one of the Kraft brothers, the owners of the New England Patriots. Volunteering is a great way for anyone to have access to successful people … [Read more...]
59: Megan – Female Dating Expert Part 1
Intro: Profession doesn’t really matter to most girls. It’s more about whether you're excited about what you’re doing. When guys are bored with themselves in their life, it’s a problem. It gives off boring energy. Girls are open to dating all sorts of types of guys. They just want guys who know what they’re doing and are comfortable with themselves. Keep open communication in a relationship so that both people know each other’s kinks and what they’re into. It helps keep each other satisfied. Don’t waste time on ‘placeholder’ girlfriends, girls you have no intention of ever being serious … [Read more...]
Why is it hard to stop chasing girls?
A common piece of advice for men is "don't chase girls." It's good advice, and it's a piece of advice I've given before. And yet, a lot of the advice from beginners is still “how do I get this girl to like me when she doesn’t?” Why is it so hard for beginners to follow? Before we answer that, let’s take a step back. It's crucial to understand that the only lasting method of having women in your life is to first, develop the characteristics that women find attractive, second, learn how to display those characteristics, and third, put yourself in situations where the kind of women you want to … [Read more...]
58: Max – How To Travel The World (Part 2)
Intro: On this episode, we interview Leverage Program moderator Max about his journey around the world. Traveling is a very crucial part of life as it is the best way to get out of the busy schedule. It is also to experience life in different ways . Traveling is actually a good remedy for stress, anxiety and depression. According to TravelQuest Internationl, it also improves the mental and physical health. Another reason why people love to travel: it helps open your mind. You realize that there's no one way to live life. Meeting people from other places will show you that your world view … [Read more...]
57: Max – How To Travel The World (Part 1)
Intro: On this episode, we interview Leverage Program moderator Max about his journey around the world. Traveling outside of the country is your one real chance to be a foreigner. You shouldn’t just leave on the spur of the moment without planning. Definitely plan ahead and set a budget. Take out some 0% APR cards, aka free loans, for the trip. These are basically interest free cards for 18 months. Traveling and getting life experience is a huge boost to your communication skills and other intangibles. Don’t plan the places you’re going with structure. Let things unfold and be open to … [Read more...]
56: Mike Diretto – Swinging (Part 2)
Inro: Take swinging slow with your girl. Do not press your girlfriend from day 1 to do crazy shit. Be patient and slowly bust out of your comfort zone and build up to doing crazier and crazier things. You should talk about each experience when you’re spending time together at home, maybe a few days after you try it. The most important thing is communication and building comfort progressively. The swinging scene is great environment because people are non judgemental and cool. Show Notes: Why Mike decided to take a break from monogamy, and how this break changed his life The … [Read more...]
55: Mike Diretto – Swinging (Part 1)
Intro: It’s important to face your fears and root them all out. Swinging improves your communication skills exponentially because you have to explain so many things. Your goal should be to face situations where you feel uncomfortable. Confront the feelings of embarrassment, nervous, and awkward. It means you’re pushing your growing and pushing your comfort zone. Show Notes: Why Mike decided to take a break from monogamy, and how this break changed his life The reason why embarrassing yourself and leaving your comfort zone can improve your life Lessons that the swing scene … [Read more...]
54: Jonny Dupree – Connection (Part 2)
Intro: If you liked our discussion of connection triggers with Marcus Oakey, you'll love this episode! We get deeper into the connection discussion, and we even give away some tactics you can use immediately to have better connections, as well as the surprising mindsets behind them. The difference between knowledge and wisdom is experience. Be authentic and acknowledge when someone is telling you something important. It will make the connection stronger. A truly deep, authentic question can lead to quick, intimate conversation. Approving of people and making them feel dope about … [Read more...]
How to Turn Her on Outside of the Bedroom
If you’ve ever spent any time around a woman, you know the quickest, simplest thing can turn them off like a lightswitch. Just like that, they’re done, from “I love you so much and want to marry you” to “go jump off a cliff, you suck.” If you're single and you're not into commitment, then have a look at the best adult dating sites as they have loads of local women looking to hook-up for casual sex. Just like that they can turn off, but why can’t we turn them on just as quickly? Well, you can. We’re here to tell you the trick. The problem is that most men only try to turn on their women when … [Read more...]
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