When I first began to learn about success with women, I found it maddening how often I would hear my dating coaches and mentors tell me that, “height doesn’t matter.” It made no impression on me at the time that plenty of guys far shorter than me were getting better results, or that many of the top instructors in the dating industry were well below average height. I was still fixated on the past. I would think back to all the times I went out in college with my golf teammates. I was usually one of the shortest guys in the group and had no doubt that this was why I wasn’t getting good … [Read more...]
Why Getting Rejected Is Good…
Why is rejection so scary? Our society does a great job of instilling shame in men. Growing up as kids, and even into our adult lives, we’re told toxic messages that can hold us back for a lifetime. Sometimes this shame originates from the people around us. Our parents or friends tell us these messages explicitly: that guy’s a player and you shouldn’t be like that. Or they could be more subtle messages from the media and movies: in order to get a girl to like you, you need to be nice and submissive. People mean well when they give us this kind of advice. Despite their good intentions, … [Read more...]
5 Ways To Always Be In Style
Women pay attention to your clothing. Your personal style can signal your positive, attractive traits, or it can repel hot women away from you. What's the minimalist, easy way to make sure you always look good? It's simple. Keep items in your wardrobe that will always be in style, and nail down your fundamentals. 1. The White Shirt Any combination of crew-neck/long sleeve or long sleeve/v-neck will work. You could even explore different styles of dress shirts if you want to. Make sure you get a few of each style that works for you. White gets dirty easily, and to a woman, there’s nothing … [Read more...]
How To Start Taking Responsibility Like An Adult
When things don’t go your way, it’s easy to place the blame on anything but yourself. It's a natural reaction for most people. Didn’t get that promotion? Boss must have it in for you. Car accident? You’re a perfect driver so it was the other guy’s fault. Can’t lose weight? Bad genetics. Regarding injuries, contact the best car accident lawyer near you. While it's easy to say this is bad, this tendency has some value. It can serve as a psychological defense mechanism that prevents people from thinking depressing thoughts. If we were to act as if everything negative in our lives is our … [Read more...]
Bonus Episode: Body Language and Height
We answer a listener question about body language and discuss The Truth About Height, from a Leverage Moderator. … [Read more...]
Building Location Independence
Guest post by Patrick, Leverage Program member For the past month, I have been building a new lifestyle for myself. I've been working towards complete location independence. I spoke with a friend yesterday who's also interested in a similar lifestyle. He wants to work remotely and travel comfortably, while not depleting his bank account. I told him he should work while he travels, and his first response to me was “It’s a good idea, but I'm just trying to figure out the kind of work I can do while I travel. I've been in the restaurant industry for 15 years, and the skills I have aren’t … [Read more...]
68: Relationship Communication
Intro: Communication is the number one thing in good relationships, and that leads to trust. Show with your actions how you would like a relationship to go. You need to create the relationship you want through good communication and nailing the conversation. … [Read more...]
The Truth About Height
Guest Don't let something you can't change become an excuse. I am not a small guy, but I've had a unique experience. I am 5'11 170 pounds, and I am only attracted to tall athletic girls, 5'8-5'11. That means that they're taller than me when they wear heels, so most of the time I meet a woman out, she'll be taller than me. Tall girls have issues about being big, but a 6'5, 240 pound guy makes them feel small. Most women who are 5'8 and up want to date really tall guys so they can feel small in their arms. I am by far the shortest and smallest guy any of my girlfriends has ever dated- … [Read more...]
9 Ways to Create Enough Time and Money for a Quality Dating Life
Recently, I asked for an update from some of my coaching clients in the Leverage Program. I noticed that almost all of the guys who are lagging on the dating front are also worried about their finances. While it’s true that guys often use money as an excuse, I actually do think that it’s hard to get your dating life handled if your finances are also not in order. Financial difficulties are an emotional drain that affects our self-esteem and cause us to project insecurity to everyone around us. The relationship between money and dating is an issue I started to think about in junior … [Read more...]
67: Organizing An After Party After Hitting The Bars
Summary: When inviting people back to your place, sell the experience, not the item (i.e. I have a sick pad). Find out what they want before you invite them. Feel out the group and see if they’re down to continue to party. Be indifferent to their response and say you’re going to party either way. Don’t beg. If you have cool people with you it gives you social proof and you're infinitely more likely to succeed. You need to know after party logistics before going out. … [Read more...]
You Should Dump Your Girlfriend
Guest post by Jay, Leverage Program member It’s easy to fall into the trap of letting a girl who isn’t really a good fit for you stick around because she prevents you from feeling lonely. We all feel lonely at times. It’s part of the human condition. And for guys who aren’t naturally good with women, it’s normal to feel lonely most or even all of the time. When you start developing your skills, having success is inevitable. You’ll start to get numbers, you’ll start to get dates, you’ll start to make out with women, and you’ll start to sleep with ones you like. Once you start … [Read more...]
Bringing Day Game Into Your Everyday Life
Guest post by Patrick, Leverage Program member You’ve read our blog posts on why you should day game, you get the concept, but are you still struggling to connect with girls when you hit on them? The game changer is that you need to start incorporating day game into your everyday life. Luckily for me, I live in New York City, where the opportunities for day game are endless. While it is definitely important to set aside some time to go out and practice day game, especially when you're first starting, your goal should be to incorporate practicing your communication skills on a daily … [Read more...]
If You Play it Safe You’re Boring
When you look at guys who are great with women, or anyone with peak social awareness, they perform a bunch of smaller actions that add up to an arsenal of social skills. These discrete skills combine to form a killer ability to communicate with others and assertively get what they want. When we’re teaching you to improve your dating life, we focus on a lot. Accumulating as much practice as you can and playing the “numbers game” is part of it. Developing your character is also part of it, and it can seem overwhelming to go from where you are now to the success you really dream of. While … [Read more...]
Inner Confidence on Elite Daily: Yes, Women Actually Do Pay A Lot Of Attention To The Way You’re Dressed
At the end of the day, being dynamic is your greatest sales pitch ever. The end-all, be-all is becoming a man who’s witty, charismatic, driven, spontaneous and grounded. This is the whole package, and women will pretty much do anything to be with a man who’s dynamic. If you don’t know how to dress, it immediately sends out a signal you’re not dynamic. Continue reading on Elite Daily. … [Read more...]
Do I Need To Be Rich To Date Hot Women?
A lot the teachings of Inner Confidence are how you can use minimalism to be successful in all areas of life. There's a big misconception out there that you need to have money to date women. It's crucial to understand that the only lasting method of having a healthy dating life is to first, develop the characteristics that women find attractive, second, learn how to display those characteristics, and third, put yourself in situations where the kind of women you want to meet will notice you displaying those characteristics. Money can be a signal for traits that women find attractive, like … [Read more...]
66: Oliver – Becoming The Man Women Want
Intro: ‘If you’re not approaching a million chicks, you’re not gonna get ass’. You need to build up reference experiences of girls liking you. The only way to get there is getting rejected a lot. You need to be the guy that is getting shit done. Girls pick up on that and it shows through in your confidence. Doing the hard work, crushing approaches, and stacking wins is important for creating that swagger. Being good at cold approach is key because you can always provide girls to people and get invited to cool social circles. The more things you make happen, the more badass dudes will be … [Read more...]
The 8 Ways to Click With Women
Guest post by Jay, Leverage Program member and resident lazy fuck I've been working on my connection skills, and the group recommended I check out a book called Click: The Forces Behind How We Fully Engage with People, Work, and Everything We Do. The book is basically a collection of tons of examples and studies going over each aspect that creates instant connections, or what they call "quick set intimacy": That magic moment when you feel like you're in the zone while talking to another person, like you're 10/10 on 3 pointers. Except the baskets are people. Or something. So here are the … [Read more...]
5 of the Most Effective Tips for Improving Your Vocal Tonality
Some guys are born with a naturally powerful voice that turns women on. Most guys aren't as fortunate. Some guys have naturally picked up good habits from their peers, friends, and families. Most guys don't put in this kind of effort, but they should. Even professionals like sportscasters have spent hundreds of hours working on their own and with coaches to sound more confident. 1. Open your mouth wider Do you mumble? Open your mouth wider. Do you speak too quickly? Open your mouth wider. Do you speak too softly? Open your mouth wider. This could go on and on, and there's a good … [Read more...]
65: Listener Questions
Intro: When you start talking to hotter girls, it’s a whole new process of getting used to talking to them, as far as anxiety. The way to have lots of free time is to build different systems in your life and automate everything. Outsource work to other people as well. Keep things organized so you never have a hard time finding things. Show Notes: What it looks like when a relationship starts getting more serious What do I do when I'm approaching girls and they're just being polite? Why is it important to be organized? How do I set up a passive income stream via Airbnb? … [Read more...]
64: The Inner Game of Time and Money
Intro: If you want strong inner game, do the stuff in life that’s hard, get better at it, get results, and stack up wins. Getting things done and executing is important. You build confidence from those winning experiences. Remove clutter from your life. It’s unnecessary and bogs you down in life. Say ‘yes’ to stuff that adds value, and say ‘no’ to things that don't. Don’t waste your time. "Do the shit in life that's hard, get better at it, get results, and stack up wins." Show Notes: How to deal with liabilities in your financial life What you need to do first before thinking … [Read more...]
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