One of my clients recently said to me, “I feel like you’ve given me permission to speak my mind.”
He went on to talk about how he had always felt disrespected and belittled by his older brother but now he has the courage to stand up to him and tell him how he feels.
I think that’s really cool, and it has EVERYTHING to do with confidently attracting women.
I used to be the classic “inauthentic nice guy” you hear about in the seduction community. I couldn’t handle confrontation, so I made sure to keep my mouth shut and avoid making people angry.
I thought this was a good strategy until I realized the incredibly negative impact this was having on my confidence.
Every time I bit my tongue, it felt like a small part of me died.
Looking back, I can see how things got progressively worse as I got older. The other day I was watching an old video I recorded of my friend hitting balls on the driving range.
She whiffed three times in a row and hit it about ten feet on her fourth try.
During the video I was saying things like “Almost, you’ll get it next time… Come on, you can do it.”
What I was thinking was: “Seriously?? Come on, you aren’t even trying… You call that a swing? Looks more like a gay wave… You’ve gotta be kidding me – no one can possibly suck this bad!”
Now before you judge me as this horrible jerk who has no compassion for a beginning golfer, let me assure you, I was thinking these things in more of a “teasing” tone.
Watching the video four years later and hearing these comments coming out of my mouth was painful because I was censoring myself so much.
So I told you above that this directly relates to confidently attracting women. Here’s how: If you consistently censor yourself around women you’re attracted to, they will see you as a spineless wimp. I’m not saying go out and speak everything on your mind; I’m telling you to start taking risks and be honest instead of telling nice white lies.
When you take a risk and say something a little edgy, you might find yourself in the midst of confrontation.
If you’re not taking these sorts of risks on a weekly basis, you have no idea how much bigger and more exciting your life could be.
You may be worried about the ramifications, but trust me – you are better at handling these situations than you think you are.
Here’s the kicker: Screwing up and creating what looks to be a major disaster is actually a huge blessing in disguise. If you are honest with someone, she may not like it but, when the dust settles, she will trust you more and will have an easier time connecting with you.
You may have heard the phrase “emotional connection” being thrown around a lot recently. In case you are wondering what that entails, it’s actually quite simple: two or more people sharing an emotional experience.
The more intense the emotion, the more intense the connection.
When you boldly and honestly speak to people, you give them a chance to connect with you. People who are also bold and honest will respect you, while people with something to hide will jealously try to take you down. In other words, you’ll make really powerful emotional connections with people like you, and you’ll push away the rest.
Sounds like a pretty decent strategy, wouldn’t you say?
If you want to make significant changes to your confidence, you’ve gotta take action and push your comfort zone. Making the choice to be honest with people instead of censoring yourself is one of the best ways to get started.
Depending on your comfort level, you can start out with people who you know will forgive you that you already have a relationship with (friends, family, coworkers).
Some of you might find it easier to start out with strangers instead. It doesn’t matter who you start with; the only thing that matters is that you GET STARTED!
Are you gonna screw this up and make some people angry? Probably.
Are you gonna feel embarrassed and ashamed when this happens? Probably.
Are you gonna tell yourself that you never should have listened to Robbie Kramer’s horrible advice? Probably, but hopefully not.
Regardless, if you are taking action and the calculated risks that your gut instincts are telling you to take, you are moving in the right direction and on the path to building unshakable confidence.
