Guest Post By Genevieve
- Confidence
I know it sounds cliche, but the first word that comes into my head when I’m thinking about the difference between what turns me on, and what doesn’t is CONFIDENCE. There is a reason Robbie chose to name his company – drum roll, please……. Inner Confidence. If you don’t have even the slightest bit of confidence, everything I go into below is going to be a lot harder to achieve. Even if you’re a bum, you deserve to have some confidence, so don’t sell yourself short and realize your worth in this world regardless of what issues or problems you’re currently facing!
Confidence is the umbrella over everything you should be doing to “turn her on” as the title of this article led you to believe.
This is why it’s only going to be a matter of time before you get fed up with the rejection and the attitude. Just stop worrying about what other people think and do what it takes to really build inner confidence.
What do you have to lose?
Caring about the opinions of those who have no real place or role in your life and listening to what the media tells you to believe is exactly what is holding you back. It’s time to invest in yourself!
2. Manly arms
This is a big part of why women like to cuddle and be held in bed. I love big arms – I have since I was a little girl. I feel protected wrapped inside a man’s arms, and there’s this little “nook” that us girls love to find and rest our heads in, and straddling or holding a muscular arm completely adds to the experience. It’s definitely one of my top three favorite parts of a man.
3. Their ability to “cuddle” or hold me well/properly in bed
Now that we’re on the subject of cuddling, let me emphasize the power of a good cuddle session. Cuddling is like kissing or dancing prior to sex to get a read for your partner… It’s how you tell whether or not you “jibe” with someone. It’s a great place to establish chemistry in addition to just plain feeling good. Don’t be afraid to make her the big spoon, either. 😉
4. Strength
Some people make fun of me for the ill-fitting superwoman strength I have as a girl, which is exactly the opposite of how I want to feel when we’re in bed.
Throw me around, pick me up, be the boss, tell me what to do, make me feel small. Every girl likes to feel this way.
5. Public Display of Affection (PDA)
Situation-appropriate PDA shows me that you don’t care and aren’t scared if other people might stare disapprovingly at our affection in public – which is human nature, mind you. Knowing this makes me feel wanted, attractive and like you’re proud to be out and about with me. Keep in mind that random people will always hate if you give your partner love on the street, you can bet on it. And while you might not enjoy being the recipient of it on a daily basis, some well-placed PDA is a great way to establish and promote a healthy dynamic between the two of you.
In my opinion, as long as your PDA is within reason and appropriate, what’s the problem? Additionally, make sure you’re doing it in a confident way… tending to look/focus away while kissing me, etc. – only looking at me for very brief moments. You shouldn’t encourage long, romantic gazes in public – can you say awkward? So keep it brief and confident.
Additionally, the rushed and “naughty” emotion PDA carries can make you feel like you’re on a team together – you two against the world, bonding you. It’s an opportunity to connect not only physically, but emotionally as well.
6. When He Leads in First Place Physically (forget opening doors for chicks)
You know, I always wondered why opening the door for a lady is considered “polite” or the norm. Take her hand, open the door yourself and lead her in behind you, still holding her hand! There could be danger in that building!
Don’t be afraid to take charge… It’s probably THE sexiest thing you can do outside the bedroom. It also sets you apart from any of the other guys that might be present and lurking. If you don’t do this, it’s only a matter of time before another guy will step up and take the lead…usually swooping the attention of your girl along with him.
Don’t stop at the door, either. If we’re out eating, ask me what I want to eat off the menu, and then when it’s time to order – speak for the both of us. Now keep in mind not to do these things in an overly aggressive manner. Do it in a take-charge, yet caring way. You want her to feel protected, and safe under your wing… not scared or feeling like she doesn’t have the right to an opinion. I’m getting excited just writing about it!
Take advantage of any time you can signal to her “I’m in charge.”
7. Smell
I seriously love the smell of a man. I love cologne on a man (of course, chosen with taste)… I love the way cologne settles into a man’s skin and starts to smell different after hours… I love the smell of a guy without cologne, after sex and even in the morning.
The only thing that can mess this up, really… is bad breath and B.O.
As long as you’re always on top of those two things, your natural smell (yes, even “down there”) can affect a girl truly like pheromones are supposed to work! I experience it on a regular basis. Also, I notice that once I really start to like a guy, (like like) his smell becomes intoxicating. Lastly if you’re not a big cologne fan, don’t be afraid use it sparingly – skipping daily use. It can and should be a special treat for her, maybe when you guys are headed out or to surprise her now and again.
8. Kiss behind ear/on neck
Very self-explanatory. It’s probably the most sensual, sensitive place to be kissed, especially at the right moment.
9. The way they carry themselves
Once again, this goes back to confidence. A few years ago, I held a job at a luxury residential high rise building as a concierge, where there I received some “uncomfortable” feedback: I wasn’t being friendly, engaging or “smiley” enough. What?!
I’ll admit, I was surprised. I truly take pride in my ability to engage others, put others at ease in social situation, encourage social interactions between those around me and in general – socialize! It’s why I decided to become a concierge and pursue the hospitality industry in San Francisco for over 8 years – I felt it came naturally to me.
Well, I was WRONG! Partially. Really, just needed to tweak the way I carried myself and my mannerisms. I didn’t want to at first but eventually, I realized that yes, maybe I wasn’t acting “girly” or “bubbly” enough; the way people expect an attractive female to behave. This idea at first was hard pill for me to swallow, but over the years I’ve both given in and embraced the idea that yeah – people will judge you based on what you look like, how you act, how you stand, your posture, your smile, eye contact, clothes – the whole thing.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have an easier time in life adjusting myself a little bit, instead of wasting a bunch of time trying to change everyone else. It will behoove you to stop, look at the successful people around you, and notice what they’re doing right. If you don’t have any successful, inspiring guys around you – the social network within Inner Confidence is a great way to find some.
How I changed:
For me, it was about smiling more, asking more questions, being on my phone less, and yes… appearing more bubbly. I learned how to not only easily engage people in conversation but how to command the attention of an entire room of people without demanding it. It’s about feeling what others are feeling and fine tuning your behavior in accordance to how they’re vibing you. Empathy, guys… Learn it.
Tips on how to carry yourself as a man:
– stand up straight, no slouching and no hunching over your phone
– make eye contact with everyone
– firm handshake
– initiate and engage conversations
-pay attention to social cues (such as when to stop talking, when to ask questions, when to strike up a conversation, what kind of questions to ask, when and how to laugh if you’re unsure, etc.)
– introduce people to each other (taking charge)
– know when to check your phone and for how long
– get your body language down
-wear the right clothes (see my Fashion Guide for a comprehensive and easy to understand breakdown of men’s clothing in a nutshell)
All of the above are probably of equal importance in terms of “how you carry yourself.” It’s not the easiest thing to explain, and it will take some time and some practice, but you will find your niche and perfect your method of socializing in a way where you feel not only comfortable, but confident, happy and in the lead.
That’s all for now…
xoxo
Genevieve
